I've devised a new type of smilie, to raise the efficiency of communications on
the Usenet:
:-) -: Smilie with an erection.
:-) 8 - Female.
:-| 8( )- Pregnant Female.
:-( :- Impotent (or let down).
:-) -8 Blue balls.
;-) o===8 Braggart.
:-\ 8o After a cold shower.
;-) ===8 Circumcised.
8-O --* Just before doubling over with pain.
:-) -^-: In need of some corrective surgery.
:-) :-... Taking a leak.
:-} -oo-: Taking matters into hand.
:-{ -__-: After slamming the toilet seat.
:-o ^^^^: After zipping up fly too fast.
Now that we've seen them, let's learn how to use them:
>> Newsgroup: alt.singles
>>
>> Hi. I'm new to this group. I'm a very well endowed guy ;-) o===8
>> and am looking for a girl with large hooters :-) 8 -
>> to have wild, uninhibited sex with. :-0==8
>
> Look, mister, you obviously are just some desparate geek :-) -8
> trying to relieve yourself over the Usenet. I'd hate to :-O -oo-:
> think of what would happen if someone walked in on you. :-{ ^^^^:
> In fact, you're probably just mastering the simplest tasks
> of managing your "manhood". :-) :-.... --> :-{ -__-:
Eventually, of course, we could communicate entirely with these smilies,
and eliminate the bulky overhead of words, such as the following:
>>> Newsgroup: alt.single
>>> :-) o===8 + :-) 8 - ? (Proposition)
>> :-o -8 --> :-o -oo-: ! (Alternative suggestion)
> :-o --* (Ooh. That hurt)
And, of course, Flames:
:-( : - (You call those breasts? I've seen bigger lumps in oatmeal!)
:-0===8 (Oh yeah? I bet that you...)
:-( :- (Not with you I don't!)
I hope that these smilies will lead to more open communications between
people on the Net. :-) --: