Star Trek Christmas Carols

(author unknown)

These were posted to rec.humor.funny on 12 May 1991 by Jonathan Ingram (ingram@usmcp6.UUCP), who ``got [them] from a friend of mine, who got them from a BBS in New Orleans.''

From Jean-Luc Picard (to the tune of Let it Snow):

Oh, the vacuum outside is endless,
unforgiving, cold, and friendless,
but still we must boldly go --
make it so, make it so, make it so.

From William Riker (to the tune of Deck the Halls):

Here's a vexing Christmas riddle
(fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la-la)
Why must I play second fiddle?
(fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la-la)
How can I impress Deanna
(fa-la-la, la-la-la, la la la)
When I'm number two banana?
(fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)

From Wesley Crusher (to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen):

I'm at Starfleet Academy and I'd just like to say
I miss the opportunity to weekly save the day --
To make things worse I have to be
in some dumb Christmas play!
Yes I'm bright, though I'm just a teenaged boy,
teenaged boy,
and the Enterprise was my most favorite toy.

From Data:

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh --
or so I am reliably informed,
though, lacking a subjective and intuitively perceived
referent for the term "fun," I am able only
to report the phenomenon as experienced by others,
whose individual perceptions somewhat color the --
yes, sir.

Click here for a song about Gingrich the Newt.
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Last modified 23 July 2006 by Greg Roelofs, you betcha.